I Get Creative

Last night I did something I haven’t done for years: I shared a piece of my creative writing. While I do a lot of writing just about every day, I had taken a loooong break from writing the poetry and experimental short fiction that once flowed freely out of my pen.

But it was a friend’s birthday, a friend who was quite pivotal at a particular moment of my journey exploring identity, self, and creativity. In his honor I decided to resurrect this piece and rework it. I read it aloud at his celebration.

And now I present it to you.

This is dedicated to all the mixed-race, alt-sexual, gender blurry people, & everyone else who finds that “check only one box” doesn’t work for them.


After years of dichotomous choices
leading into an adulthood surrounded by pairs,
I begin to identify with the square root of 2. 

Beyond the visible
Between what is whole
On stone tablets and papyrus
it arises 

A secret so unsettling it warrants murder

it is irrational

frankly: unwelcome


My own
demands for proof

My own

only fully encompassed by the square root of 2
more than 1
a numerical quirk
which multiplied unto itself is the perfect sum of my parents’ love.

On my own:
a conundrum which cannot be entered into a census’ computer
fouling up the simple and harmonious duality of an endless
0 1 0 1 0 1 on off yes no either or black white
make a decision
declare yourself

my self tumbling along the square root of 2’s digital extensions
ever changing and ever endless
slipping like a ribbon between whole numbers
elusive but flirtatious enough to maintain interest
a mathematician’s dark-haired mistress 

I am at home in the space between integers
an orienteer given a compass of genetic codes with endless variation
following the decimal point of my birth
without discernible patterns
coyly evading resolution.

Now I see I will never be fully content or at peace.

No, that’s not it. 

I will never be done.

the square root of 2
and I
will hold a place in the rational world nonetheless.


If you want to know more about the history of the square root of two, read the Wikipedia entry


  1. Josh Ostrander

    “only fully encompassed by the square root of 2
    more than 1
    a numerical quirk
    which multiplied unto itself is the perfect sum of my parents’ love.”

    meaningful. beautiful. Well done.

  2. Holle

    Your writing and your brain are beautiful. I appreciate your sharing and thoughtfulness so much.

    This from one who has a box to check off easily, but always wonders what it’s like to not have one. So I refuse to check them at all.
    Mahalo nui loa,

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